What Are You Focused On Today? The Good or Bad?
So I was out rollerbalding for my hard and fast 10 mile sweat session the other day when suddenly I notice a lady yelling at me, so I slow down, pull out my earbuds and say “HuH!” and she yells to me “you should be wearing pads and protection” and I then yell back “been doing this for 20 years now” and rollerblade off into the, well down the trail. So of course I am wondering what was that all about anyway. I have seen this particular lady many a time on the bike trail and never has she felt the need in the past to yell out to me that I need to go rollerblading all protected like she does. I concluded that because she is fearful of wiping out while rollerblading that I then should also be fearful of the same consequence. Apparently I must wear knee pads, elbow pads, wrists guards and a helmit or I am risking serious bodily harm while rollerblading. Definately her fears, not mine.
In my defense(for being somewhat abrupt to her), I have rollerskated, iceskated and most recently (past 15yrs) rollerbladed since I was seven years old. During the early beginning stages of learning these sports I spent many a time wiping out and I would like to say that I even got pretty good at it. Made it a point, in fact to learn how to wipe out with minimum damage, particularly because I liked to do tricks and dancing on my rollerskates and iceskates and the side effect of these ventures were plenty of falls.
So my question to you is, why was it necessary for this lady to project onto me her fears of rollerblading? And presume that because her fears are so powerful that I must also have the same fears? Do you know someone who insists on putting their limitations on you no matter what your past experience with the project, subject or activity is? Who insist on dumping all their own personal baggage of fears onto you and presume that you must feel the same way? It can be someone you know well or someone who is just an aquaintance in your life! It can be about getting healthy and fit or about running down the street….
So what was this lady thinking about? Where was her FOCUS? NOT on going peacefully anywhere. Her focus, from my incredible deductive skills, was on wiping out while rollerblading and suffering severe bodily harm. She projected that I was in the same boat with her….so not sooo.. As I was rollerblading in my zone before being interrupted I was focused on thinking how much longer can I go gasping like this, when can I slow down, how long is this going to take, thinking about the family, thinking about the business, etc…etc..pretty much everything in my life BUT wiping out. Not a focus for me anymore.
So when someone you know well (or not)and they insist on trying to get you to tow their line, step back, and politely say No I am good and move on…don’t let other people get YOU focused on THEIR problems, issues or insecurities. Just keep your focus on your direction and if you can help them out in a positive way, do so, if not move on….
God Bless You,
Evey
